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I work in a primary. You do not need permission to put children on the SEN register if a child meets the descriptors that you use for identifying SEND. It would be good practice to prepare parents by discussing your concern at parents evenings, outlining the child’s difficulties and how they are being supported currently in the classroom and that if the difficulties persist ,why you would consider putting the child on the SEN register, what it is and what support that you agree to put in place if necessary,

“ 6.15 A pupil has SEN where their learning difficulty or disability calls for special educational provision, namely provision different from or additional to that normally available to pupils of the same age. ” (COP 2015, DfE,DoH)

Read chapter 6 of the COP for details of what to do.
We have a number of things we give to parents once their child has been identified as having SEND in our school. We give them a letter confirming that the child has been identified and put on the SEN register and what the next steps are. We ask parents to sign this and this is filed as evidence that we have had that conversation. We give them information on the Local Offer and ask them to complete a one-page profile with their child (this is the pupil’s voice). Teacher and parents then discuss how the child will be supported (which specific interventions will be used ) and an SEN Support Outcome plan is agreed with parents, child (it is good practice to involve them if possible) and teacher. This gives outcomes that the child is working towards with the provision the school is giving to the child to achieve those outcomes and the support the parents have agreed to do in the home. The one-page profile should also give information on what the child wants to get better at, what helps them learn etc., which should be incorporated into the outcomes agreed.

If the parents are well prepared and have a good understanding of what the SEN register is and why and how their child has been identified as SEN, there should not be a problem. Parents want the best for their children. I haven’t experienced parents disagreeing with this, yet!