I’ve found that the scariest thing for parents when they are told that their child needs help is disempowerment. In other words, it’s scary enough being a parent but if I follow the system and do what other parents do, I’ll be ok. And my child will be ok. But when I’m told : hey, you’re going to have to think out of the box here ” , oh boy do I start running- because I have NO idea what out of the box looks like.
So I’ve found it super helpful to listen to parents describe their child at home. E.g. we’ve notice Bob finds it really hard to stay In his chair. He likes to get up to get water , go to the loo, sharpen his pencil. We ‘re wondering if you see that at home And if you can give us ideas on what you’ve tried to do that works. So like, when he does homework, what have you found that will help him get the work done so he can go.off to play? ‘.
This was we actually start with where parents’ parenting is already familiar ground. Next we share with the parent tips we have found the teacher has tried. Gradually, as more and more talk happens around ‘ we want to really KNOW Bob’, then we can say that there are interesting websites on adhd that have super good tips, the best often from parents. And that many tips don’t apply to our child but some might be great, simple ideas.
This line can go on for quite a while: months – with one mum we finally went for an assessment after two years of this. But at least along that line the parent learning, Some intervention is happening, the parent is learning to observe his child rather than n spending all this time in denial .
It really is about partnership and empowerment