This sounds like *extreme* anxiety to me, demand avoidance? In which case the key is reducing the demands using strategies from the PDA society. Use non directive language, offering choices, using visuals / now-and-next etc
She’s young so it sounds maybe still going through that toddler “no” phase ??
I would suggest if using social stories that you get hold of the social stories book, read it and really understand the social story methodology and then write your own using the principles. A lot of non-Carol Gray social stories aren’t that closely aligned with them.
It’s very tricky as we do all need to use “no”, or we’d have no personal boundaries. She maybe needs explicit guidance on when No is Ok and when it’s unexpected behaviour?? It still might not help with PDA type levels of anxiety